Krakk for the Town?

Just after we all thought that Dirk Rumble, Saltburn Town manager, had completed his new squad, the Versive can exclusively reveal that Rumbler and his Danish assistant Ripesmell Ingburp has been holding secret talks with the legendary Finnish international striker Ars Krakk. Krakk's agents, Bulgarian Arl Choppisnobbov and Russian Lukzliekeys Cakkedinispants, have strongly hinted that a move may be on the cards if Krakk can agree personal terms. His demands are rumoured to be £400 a week, free lodging at a B&B in Diamond Street and being able to shag any of the bar staff at Mariner Hotel whenever he likes. The Versive says rather him than us!