Football Fixtures

Saltburn Town footie fans held their breath today as the fixtures for the coming season of the South North Eastern Palmo Sunday League were released. Supporters of the 'piermen' will be licking their lips at the opening two games against local rivals Skelton Onanists and Loftus Pikeys. December too offers sustained excitement as the Town take on two of the three local splinter teams in quick succession. An away match to Pissheads from t'Swing Doors on the 1st is followed a week later by a tasty looking tie with newcomers Tedious Old Farts from t'Marine Lounge. 10th October sees the lads travel to Derelict Bus Shelter Park for their away tie with Amber Street Smackheads.

Season tickets are now available at the Victoria Stadium at the discounted price of £37.23 or £42.67 for a family ticket. Supporters are reminded that homosexuals and asylum seekers are excluded from the concourse areas. A full fixture listing is given below:

Football Fixtures – South North Eastern Palmo Sunday League
August 11: Loftus Pikeys 3pm
August 15: Skelton Onanists 7.45pm
August 18: Stang How Hermaphrodites (a) 3pm
August 25: Guisborough Meatheads (h) 3pm
September 1: Stokesley Stuckups (h) 3pm
September 15: Yarm Arseholes (a) 3pm
September 22: Pissheads from th’Ormesby Legion (h) 3pm
September 29: Eston Kebab-Eaters (a) 3pm
October 6: Brotton and Shaggedslappers United (h) 3pm
October 20: Amber Street Smackheads (a) 3pm
October 27: Spotty Youfs from Redcar (h) 3pm
November 3: Roseberry’s Tit (a) 3pm
November 10: HMP Stockton (h) 3pm
November 24: Allotment C**ts (h) 3pm
December 1: Pissheads from t’Swing Doors (a) 3pm
December 8: Tedious Old farts from t’ Marine Lounge (h) 3pm
December 15: Stockton Pakis (a) 3pm
December 22: Skinninggrove Troglodytes (a) 3pm
December 26: Marske Arsefingerers (h) 3pm
December 29: Grangetown Space Cadets (a) 3pm
January 1: Amber Street Smackheads (h) 3pm
January 12: Guisborough Meatheads (h) 3pm
January 19: Marske Arsefingerers (a) 3pm
January 29: Stang How Hermaphrodites (h) 7.45pm
February 2: Loftus Pikey (a) 3pm
February 9: Brotton and Shaggedslappers United (h) 3pm
February 23: Yarm Arseholes (a) 3pm
March 1: Skelton Onanists (h) 3pm
March 8; Pissheads from th’Ormesby Legion a) 3pm
March 15: HMP Stockton (a) 3pm
March 22: Allotment C**ts (h) 3pm
March 29: Tedious Old farts from t’ Marine Lounge (h) 3pm
April 5: Stockton Pakis (a) 3pm
April 12: Spotty Youfs from Redar (h) 3pm
April 19: Roseberry’s Tit (a) 3pm
April 26: Grangetown Space Cadets (a) 3pm
May 3: Skinninggrove Troglodytes (h) 3pm
May 11: Guisborough Meatheads (a) 3pm