Thursday, 12 July 2007

Muesli Causes Cancer – It’s Official

A new report published today from Saltburn University reveals that muesli causes bowel cancer. Professor Dribble, of the Department of Toxicology, headed a team which has been conducting research into the intestinal effects of muesli and oat-based products. Statistical analysis reveals that serial porridge eaters are 5 times as likely to contract cancer of the colon as non-users. For foodstuff which lace oats with nuts and dried fruit the figure reduces slightly to 4.7 times more likely.

Mirroring the measures taken with tobacco products, it is expected that famous household breakfast favourites will be forced to carry dramatic health warnings, including pictures, so that consumers are left in no doubt about the dangers. The pictures we print today have been leaked from a Department of Health seminar which discussed how advisory messages might be included on products.


Anonymous said...

how did your fucking idiot blog rise up in googles search?

fuck you. there are people out there looking for proper info and fucks like you waste their time

WHAT said...

Soda is what can give you cancer, stop discouraging people to eat right by LYING to them and saying muesli causes any kind of disease because it most likely doesn't and is very healthy with lots of vitamins, protein and fibre.
You should be ashamed to deceive people just for 'fun' because people out there suffering from cancer, diabetes, etc. have nowhere much else to turn to in terms of what could save their life and you're just confusing people and putting their lives in danger.
Don't be so stupid and senseless.
Take this damn article down or at least make it obvious with a disclaimer note saying the article is falss.
Seriously, do it. It's worth it.