Dirk Rumble, manager of Saltburn Town, paraded members of his new squad this afternoon at a packed press conference at the Victoria Stadium. Out goes Iranian international goalkeeper Ravinis Lamist, to make way for new signing Scott Delboy signed from Spartak Glasgow. Delboy told the crowded room that he was hoping that he could quickly acclimatise to the South North Eastern Palmo Sunday League. The cultural change might take Deloby some getting used to:
'I've been everywhere looking for a deep-fried marsbar in batter but no joy, chief. It's all healthy sh!te around here what with all this palmo and salads stuff.'
Veteran defender Bill Headdress, landed on the last day of the transfer window from Thirsk-based Miserable North Yorkshire Bastards Athletic, said he's looking forward to slotting into the defence where he will play as the central inserter. Bill said he had been hoping to end his career at Victoria Park ever since he dicovered that Saltburn now had broadband.
Rumble's third signing was the exciting and flamboyant young striker Ray the Boy bought at a snip from relegated Th'Estate Opposite Th'Esso Garage. As is his wont, he'll be playing in the hole behind Jimmy Horace looking to predate on anything loose.
The full team are listed below:
Skelton, S. of
Abdul, I. B.
Horace, J. F. C.
Boy, R. the