Just a short note to say what an honour it is to serve the people of Saltburn. I'm sure I don't have to remind you of all my hard work and self-sacrifice on your behalf. My tireless efforts at self-promotion have probably seen to that but it's all been worth it, for such a wonderful town as Saltburn-by-the-Sea.
PS Please note this has nothing to do with those blue plaque thingies described here. I don't really approve of those, obviously! I would be a very reluctant recipient, but might accept one to please my wife, who says a plaque would look nice on our humble abode. I leave the rest to you lovely readers.