Thursday, 26 July 2007

A Message from 'Brown Owl'

Leader of the Salturn Brownie pack, Petronella Horse-Box, has been in touch with the Subversives
to explain a few changes in official Brownie policy and with some words of advice for parents.

"We are looking to cut down on the number of available merit badges, so that the money saved can be spent on extra ammunition for the up coming 'Duck Derby.' The existing badge awards 'Safe Sex', and 'Assembling Flat-Pack Furniture,' will be amalgamated, and a single badge will be awarded in future entitled 'Handling Erections'," Miss Horse-Box explained.

"Parents are reminded that Brownies representing Saltburn at the Duck Derby must present themselves with clean weaponry. Ammunition will not be issued by the armoury unless gun barrels and firing mechanisms are spotlessly clean! A clean weapon is an accurate weapon I always say! Please remember also that the use of decoys attached to land mines or other explosive devices is being discouraged this year as it tends to spoil the fun for other participants and attract anti-social elements such as people from Skelton, and I don't want to have to use the Brengun again this year."

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