Thursday, 5 July 2007

Floods are God's Judgment on Saltburn, says Vicar

The floods that have devastated swathes of the country are God's judgment on the immorality and greed of modern society, according to the Reverend Lonnie Donnegan-Cross, vicar of Saltburn's parish church.

The vicar has even claimed that laws that have undermined marriage, including the introduction of pro-gay legislation, have provoked God to act by sending the storms that have left thousands of people homeless.

"It's well known that the new homosexual civil partnerships cause, severe thunderstorms,"
he told Saltburn Subversives yesterday.

While those who have been affected by the storms are innocent victims, the vicar argues controversially that the flooding is a result of Western Civilisation's decision to ignore biblical teaching. "Particularly Exodus. 32 : 27," he continued, "where it says: 'Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from the gate and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour.' We Christians just don't do this sort of thing anymore...I think it's a mistake!"

He urged people to respond to the latest floods by turning away from a lifestyle of greed and the accumulation of wealth and moral degradation that goes with it.

It is estimated that the Church of England has assets in the region of £3.9 billion.

1 comment:

Lonnie Donnegan-Cross said...

This is why Hull which has the lowest proportion of Church-goers in the country, got the worst floods.