"WE NEEDED A NEW SOFA. Ours was faded, tatty and holes were appearing bigger every day! We just didn't agree on a replacement. We'd flicked through the Argos catalogue for ideas. 'I like that one.' said Ben. 'It's hideous and I'm not having it in my house.' was my reply.
Then my husband dismissed the ones I would have in 'my house' in the same manner. I dreaded going shopping and suggested going to morning prayer at church first. So we prayed about it - and maybe our praying doesn't sound serious or worthy but it was heartfelt. Anyone who has argued about furniture, cars, houses, children's names, or whatever, and had to grudgingly compromise, settling for second best which you only sort of like, will understand. Now the sofa we eventually found wasn't in the first shop, or the second or third - but when we found it we both totally agreed. In fact, there were no occasions where one of us liked something and the other didn't. And I think that is an answer to a prayer!"
Readers' Note: The above article is not a satire. It appeared not so long ago in our esteemed town magazine. Only the name has been changed. The italics are mine. It is beyond satire. As an example of narcissistic, self pitying, god bothering bollocks it is hard to beat.
Ain't it good to know that the Great Sky Fairy is watching over your shopping needs? The explanation is simple. These people are deranged.
This is what I'd do to her new sofa.
