Wednesday, 16 May 2007

Roundabout Controversy

Feeling is welling up in Saltburn against a business sign being put up at a roundabout in the town centre. Several people have told us it is an eyesore and may affect the town's chances of winning the 'Britain in Bloom' awards.

Ms June Hairy who works at 'Only Organics' just opposite the roundabout said, 'It's huge, at least five centimetres by six and advertises a business that is owned by someone who isn't even one of Bwian's friends. It's not acceptable, and besides we want the council to pedestrianise the whole area so that we can extend our cafe outside and make lots of money, prevent visitors fom having anywhere to park their cars and eventually kill every business in Saltburn stone dead. Except ours of course.'

Ms Hairy continued 'People don't seem to understand that only clueless, middle class tosspots like me and Bwian should have a say in how this town is run. Otherwise how are we going to pay for the villa in Tuscany?'

When we contacted Saltburn Town Council they stated that they received £1000 per year for the sign which went towards flower beds and hanging baskets, in the town. They told us that no official complaints had been received and that the sign was good for the town.

' The last thing Saltburn wants is proper commercial development of the area, leading to prosperity and jobs for everyone.' said Ms Hairy. 'What we need is a town dependent on grants from the tax payer and the EU and which enables people like me to stay on the gravy train.'

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