Monday, 7 May 2007

Bush Administration Declares War on Saltburn


Many readers will be familiar with the rogue countries collectively dubbed the 'axis of evil' by United States President George W. Bush. Yet few would have imagined that the humble and upstanding town of Saltburn-by-the-Sea near Teesside would be next on Dubya's hit-list.. Iraq, Iran, North Korea, Cuba, Libya and Syria may threaten stability in the Middle East, yet, in an address to the nation state of Texas yesterday, the President made this robust and unequivocal pledge:

'The people of the world have rallied round to support the US-led War on Terror. But Islamism is not the only fruitcake. Today, I want the world to know that the United States will be unremitting in its War on Victoriana. Our intelligence services tell me that there is a regressive town in the North East of England which harbors a so-called 'doctor' who does experiments on stem-cell research. As if that were not condemnable enough, sources also tell us that every year the inhabitants dress up in old-fashioned costumes and parade the streets pretending that everything was better when the UK ruled the US during the Victorian period. Citizens of the United States of America, we're gonna nuke these bastards.'

Councillor Jack Daw told our reporter 'bring him on'.

1 comment:

Bill the shagger said...

Maybe we can persuade him to nuke Skelton instead. Now that really would be a victory in the war on terror.