Tuesday, 5 June 2007

Spirit of Tomatso

Are you a bit hard of thinking? Do you regularly find people taking advantage of your gullibility? Most importantly, have you got more money than strictly necessary for a person of your limited intelligence? Then I would like to introduce you to Tomatso Therapy.

Tomatso Therapy is relatively new to the West, as I've only just thought of it. It is heavily influenced by the teachings of Dr. Mascari Hamsuit 34th Grandmaster of the nine schools of Ninja Turtles in Japan. It takes a holistic approach to a client's financial affairs, seeking to rebalance them in the therapist's favour. After all too large a pension fund, or too large a wallet could easily lead to back aches or other symptoms.

Tomatsu practitioners use many different techniques to suit the circumstances of the patient, but these normally involve tieing the patient to the couch and blindfolding him while an assistant goes through his pockets.

The purpose of Tomatso is to aid in the restoration of my bank balance and is extremely effective because it has this core principle: - "The person with the best knowledge of the client's problem is the therapist, so give him all your money."

This means as a Tomatsu practitioner, I will observe you carefully as you fill in our special 'financial disclosure form/power of attorney' before making the necessary adjustment and allowing your body to heal naturally, free of the worry of all that excess money.

If you would like an initial consultation please visit www.Tomatso-Practitioner.co.uk.

3 comments:

David Colquhoun said...

"It takes a holistic approach to a client's financial affairs, seeking to rebalance them in the therapist's favour"

Now that hits the nail on the head. I love it.

The great mystery is, how many people who spout this stuff really 'believe' it, and how many are just in it for the money.

SciencePunk said...

When was the last time you saw a volunteer acupuncturist? Exactly.

poobah said...

Is there a course that I can go on, to become a trainee or "Cherry Tomatso?"