Fear and Loathing on the Allotments

Following our report on the Council's proposals regarding the Shed Alignment Regulations here,
Saltburn Subversives understands that the local authority is planning to send in the emergency Shed Alignment Squad (SAS) to enforce the law. Ms Janet Hand-Wringer of Saltburn Town Council said, "We cannot allow people to flout the law of the land. Useless regulations are a vital part of local government and if people think they can get away with ignoring them they are very much mistaken! Otherwise they might start questioning our other spurious services and then where would we be?"

At a meeting of the Saltburn Allotments Association, held last week in the Seaview Hotel, a motion was passed to form a paramilitary wing (pictured above) to defend the allotments. Member Jimmy Horace, who spoke at the meeting said, "those fu%?ing bastards are not coming anywhere near my shed without a bloody fight..and mine's a double Talisker's Fred!"