Readers are reminded that the Lavatorial Orientation Regulations come into force from the 1st 0f September with which all new buildings must comply. This means that all new buildings must be built in such a way as not to offend Muslims in that the toilets must not face Mecca. They must be specially designed so that they do not face South East.
Councillor Jack Daw, now recovering from his recent bout of Tri-Bellicose Monomania said, "Saltburn Town Council is determined to stamp out the entirely fictional curse of islamaphobia and as such is proud to be associated with this government initiative. Frankly we don't mind how much of other people's money we spend playing this absurd game of gesture politics and holier than thou"